It's all about perspective...

On my way home from getting my fruit and veggies from Bountiful Baskets (check them out at bountifulbaskets.org) I looked at the mileage on my car to see how far past the oil change I am (yes, I am overdue dear) and it said a little over 20,000.  At first I was wow, I've put a lot of miles on my car already, but then it struck me how, when I was buying cars in my teens and 20s, if a car had 20,000 miles, it was NEW.  Mind you, I love my car and still think that for all the running around I do as the kids' taxi driver, 20,000 isn't bad.  But it struck me how it's all about perspective.

So, because I have nothing better to do while driving, I starting thinking about how most things (if not all) in life are about perspective.  My perspective about being military or military wife has changed a bit over the years.  When we were a young dual military couple, we couldn't wait to get out.  We were sick of all the rules. We were convinced we didn't make enough money, that our health care sucked, hated being away from our families (especially after Bryce was born), deployments were just torture, etc.  You get the picture.   I remember getting so mad at some of Danny's commanders about the silly stuff he'd have to do, and why they always picked him to go TDY.  Some moments I really had a "poor me" attitude.  Now, my attitude isn't always 100% perfect, but I LOVE being an Army wife.  I love the life we have made together and how this Army life has shaped our family. 

I've thought a bit about that kind of attitude because you see it in a lot of young spouses.  I think a lot (not all) of it has to do with whether you have decided that the Army is your career or if its just something you have to go through before you can start your "real" life.

Our perspective shift probably happened when I was pregnant with Jace.  There were some minor concerns over a heart issue with him and so they sent us to a specialist.  At this point I was getting out (ETS date was right after I got back from convalescent leave), and Danny was going to be getting out shortly after.  I even went and got a TX driver's license because we were convinced we would be back in TX within a year.  Well, after Jace's appointment with the specialist we were giving a copy of the statement of charges.  For those of you non military friends...we don't have to pay when we get referred off post, but they give us a copy of what they are charging the Army.  Well, lets just say the amount it cost for Jace's one appointment made us rethink Danny getting out.  We realized the health care may not be perfect but it does take care of us better than any coverage we could have gotten on the civilian side.  So instead of the Army being just a road bump in our life, it became Danny's career and our way of life. 

One book that I have wanted to start blogging about is called 1001 Things to Love about Military Life by Tara Crooks, Starlett Henderson, Kathie Hightower, Holly Scherer.  Today, since I'm talking about perspectives anyway, I'm going to start.  

The first chapter is "Worth Joining For."  When reading this chapter I remembered why I, at 21, suddenly had a desire to join the Army, as well as why Danny and I decided to have him make a career of the Army. 

When I joined the Army at 21, I was going to college in Moorhead, MN.  I was from Pierre, South Dakota and I wanted a change from what my life was like.  I wanted to see the world and learn foreign languages.  Before 21, I NEVER in a million years thought I would join the Army.  I hated to run, was not an athletic person, and despite growing up in a family that hunted, never fired a gun. 

But, something put the bug in my ear, and to everyone's surprise I joined the Army on February 13, 1998 and left for Basic Training May 19th.  I have not regretted the decision once.  I have gotten to see parts of the World.  Not as much as I had dreamed of--definitely not the areas I had hoped for--but I have seen things a tourist will never see in Baghdad, Iraq.  

I did learn my foreign language, and some other skills (like changing a tire in the middle of a combat zone).  I got the opportunity to fire a .50 cal, M16, & be an armorer (work on all sorts of weapons).  But, most importantly, I gained self-confidence.  I did not have this in high school, or college.  I think that is the most important thing, along with learning to say "NO" (Thank you Ann Griffin and Lori Roberts for helping me learn that lesson LOL), that I acquired.  I've learned that I can make it through and accomplish things I never thought in a million years I'd do.

On the Army wife side of that, I've also gained confidence by knowing that as much as I love having my husband here, I don't/can't depend on him to do everything for me.  I have had to learn to do things that, again, I never thought I'd do (taking apart a toilet for example).  Growing up there was always a "man of the house" and they did that stuff, so I completely grew up expecting that.  Boy was I in for a surprise.

I also think the health care is fantastic (see my perspective change).  I've had the opportunity to see civilian friends and family struggle with health care issues and insurance.  Ours isn't perfect, but the key I have learned is that as long as you stick up for your rights as a patient, you'll do fine (this is important no matter what health care you have).   Plus, no cost.  I didn't pay a penny to have either of my two babies.

I think the Army is worth joining for because in this economy, I do not have to worry about my husband loosing his job suddenly.  It has also given him a profession he loves and can continue to do after he retires from the Army.  His job is one that he is proud to do and I am proud of him for doing.  He is so handsome in his uniform--I can't imagine a day when he isn't called to wear it.

Finally, I may not have gotten to go to Europe yet, but we're not retired yet either.  There is always hope to see more of the world with the next duty station. :)