Learning to Juggle

I remember thinking on Danny's first 4 deployments that everything would be easier if the kids were just a little older.  I take it back.  I have come to realize that in some respects it was easier when the kids were smaller, but in others its much more difficult.  I definitely agree--and lived it--that when the kids were babies and needed me to do everything for them it was draining.  Living through Bryce getting on a schedule with postpartum depression and sleep deprivation was definitely NOT a fun time.  Driving on any trip with them was almost too horrifying to contemplate (although we did a few).  Yep--definitely not an easy time to have Danny gone.  However, the one thing about that time is that there were really no outside commitments (other than work for some of it).  If I needed time to myself, or I felt too busy, I could stay in the house and ignore the rest of the world.  Not so anymore. 

Now, with older kids, they can do everything pretty much by themselves.  I'm not sleep deprived or depressed---but I sure am exhausted.  Juggling everything that we have going on as a family is not an easy task.   I have commitments to serving in church and am a FRG leader--both which require commitments on a regular basis.  I also am taking an ASL (American Sign Language) course through the church--along with the kids.  Bryce has golf twice a week and Jace has football practice about three times a week.   When I write it out here it doesn't seem like much, but I haven't had a free night--let alone weekend--to just veg.  Some nights its only one of the above things, and sometimes I am juggling two or three--in addition to trying to figure out when to grocery shop and clean.   I enjoy every commitment I have and wouldn't quit anything, but sometimes I long for days were I'm not a juggler.  I dream of a week or two without a commitment of any type--where I can lock myself and the kids in the house and just catch up on what needs to get done.  I keep praying for a snow day ( I know its a long shot LOL) to keep us locked inside cuddled up watching a movie. 

I keep telling myself its just for a season.  My house will be clean again someday--maybe during spring break ;)   I might get to that pile of mending and quilting I have.  The filing will eventually make it from the pile into the folder.  Eventually I will get to it all. 

On a side note--my little man Jace made a comment the other day that I just have to share.  It reminded me so much of what my younger brother was like with me that I just had to smile.  The other day Jace and Bryce were in the back seat (on the way to one of our commitments) and talking about kids picking on people--and Jace gets all defensive and says--"you tell them that if they pick on you or Cody (another girl in the neighborhood) that I'll come find them"  It was such a sweet thing and made my week.