Finding Balance

 I think I'm on the way to finding balance again.  I can't believe I fell into the trap of making myself too busy again.  I didn't do it too much the first three deployments, but four and now five I've struggled to find the balance between being too busy and just busy enough.  Its a fine line I always seem to jump over and then struggle to get back to.  Maybe, like I said in an earlier post, the other deployments were easier to stay on the line because the kids were smaller and I was less brave about taking them anywhere alone. 

I know the nature of having kids getting older means they are involved in stuff and therefore parents become busier.  However, I don't want to be too busy to enjoy that stuff with them.  Monday I got to sit at Jace's practice and not run around the whole time.  It was nice to enjoy the weather and chat with the other parents. 

How was I able to do that?  I finally decided to start downsizing my schedule.  I had to take a long hard look at our schedule and admit that we can't do everything we/I did when Danny was here.  I had to make some hard decisions about what was best for my family.  And they were hard.  I had breaking a commitment, especially to friends and people I admire.  Some of the commitments are the only time I get to hang out with some of my favorite people.  But, my family needs to, and should, come first and we've been struggling with all of the running we've been doing lately.

So, I gave up my American Sign Language class.  Again, I really wish I didn't have to.  I've wanted to learn ASL since I was in high school, but even though now is a good time, its not the best time for me to do it. 

I backed away from some commitments at church.  I loved doing it, but I don't feel like I was doing it well.  I couldn't put 100% effort towards it right now.  Maybe come summer I can step it up again...and I probably will.  I miss being at church during the week.  Journey is one of my favorite places.  I am still serving.  I won't ever give it up completely.  I love serving and learn so much from it.  But I just downsized my role a little bit.

The last thing to back away from is the FRG.  The new CO has a wife so we are learning to balance and its great being able to have her help--or me help her--however its working it is taking a load off my shoulders.  Again, I'm not going to back away completely--I enjoy it too much--but I am going to downsize what I do.  I realized today that I don't have to be at EVERYTHING the CO (company) or the BN (battalion) has--they are all parents and understand the running around aspect.  I can let some get-togethers go.  I have been feeling like in order to do a good job as an FRG leader, that I have to be at everything and that's just not true.